We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
