yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Randomize
