If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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