I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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