She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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