I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Randomize
