we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
