Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize