First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
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