I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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