why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Enjoy the penises
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
