True but thats because hes a fetus.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Randomize
