I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
