last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Randomize
