I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
