Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
im holly from the hills drunk
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
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