shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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