Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
You're like the curious george of whores
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
