He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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