I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
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