and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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