I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
