Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I will be naked everywhere
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
