Best friends brother. Beat that.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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