i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
