Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
