so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
