Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Randomize
