these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize
