I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Randomize
