hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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