OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Randomize
