so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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