Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
