I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
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