we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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