Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
