operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
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