I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
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