Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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