In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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