Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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