; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Randomize
