okay pat passed out under dana's car
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Randomize
