This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
