nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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