just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
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