Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
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