do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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