every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
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