Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
