piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
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