): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
